Sunday, July 1, 2018

How To Be A Beautiful Domestic Goddess of Plenty


Hi. I'm Cie, and it really grinds my gears that girls overall are still taught to be such petite delicate flowers that we have to wait for a manly man to do anything remotely handy.



I'm sure this fellow is efficient. But why should I pay him for things I can do myself?
Today I changed a shower head.
I bought a $3.95 10 inch pipe wrench and a $3.95 shower head from Walmart. 
I probably should have bought a step stool, but I stood on the edge of the shower like an idiot. Don't do what I did.
Remember, when loosening a bolt or screw, turn counterclockwise. You can also try to remember "lefty-loosey, righty-tightey," but I'm kind of dyslexic, so that doesn't always work for me.
I ended up getting soaked because the old shower head was clogged with mineral deposits, so there was water standing behind it.
It was also a real bastard to remove it, because the person who put it on in the first place wanted to show that he could give The Hulk a run for his money when it came to tightening shower heads.
Nonetheless, I got 'er done, and now I have a nice working shower head, just in time for the monthly Henna treatment. The important things in life, you know.
I also bought an inexpensive hair trap for the shower drain, a mini drain snake and clog remover for the bathroom sink, and a toilet repair kit to get the toilet in my son's upstairs bathroom working again.
After I did all this, I made a gourmet meal from scratch.
Just kidding. I bought a spicy marinated half chicken from my local King Soopers meat department, chopped an onion and sprinkled it with McCormick's Himalayan Pink Salt Garlic blend, put some Farm Rich potato skins in the pan with the chicken and the onion, and poured a can of yams into a saucepan. I then made some ranch sour cream for the potato skins.
This is a really difficult recipe if you aren't an expert chef!
Take two cups of sour cream and stir in an envelope of ranch dressing mix.
I found it necessary to taste the mixture a couple of times. Just to make sure it was really well blended, you know.
This incredibly difficult enhancement will steal the show. It will be necessary to buy double the amount of potato skins you would need otherwise to avoid disappointment. Truth be told, you could skip the chicken and the seasoned onions and just serve potato skins with ranch sour cream and some yams for dessert.
It was a pretty productive day overall!
And, you know, if the men don't find me hot, they should at least find me handy!

~Cie~

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